I am about to have gastric bypass and my husband said he loves me the way I am and is afraid I am going to leave him after I lose weight. I feel like he is saying I can’t do any better than him now but if I were thinner it wouldn’t be a problem. This is not the case at all I was heavy when I met him and I have had a very healthy dating life before him. I still have no trouble getting mens attention when we go out to a club. My husband is very handsome and athletic and I don’t understand his worry. I don’t want to do this to get attention from men I want to do this for me so I can do all of the things that I feel my weight keeps me from doing like canoing, water parks, amusement parks, and just taking my kids to the park to play. I wont take my kids to chuck e cheese alone because if one of them gets up in the tunnels and won’t come down I’m toobig to go up after them.
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it’s rather cute that he says that to you
dont worry, just tell him that you love him no matter what =)
a little reassurance to men wont hurt =)
sometimes men need a bit reassurance as much as us women do too =)
good luck with your sugery
No–this is a frequent reaction to a spouse losing weight. It’s more a reflection of his own low self-esteem than of how he feels about you, or thinks of your appearance. He loves you, but he is aware that you do not fit the ideal of beauty in our society. He thinks the only reason you are with a "loser" [his thought of himself, not mine] like him is because you can’t get anyone better because superficial people don’t appreciate your great qualities now. Once others become interested in you because of your new superficial attractiveness, you won’t want to bother with him. He picked you because he loves you and thinks you’re terrific, but he thinks your feelings for him aren’t as strong as his for you. So the only way you should be insulted is if he normally puts you down because he wants YOU to have low self esteem. In that case, his treatment of you is unhealthy.
Sounds like your husband has his own self-esteem issues. have you gone to counseling before this surgery? I would suggest couples counseling before the procedure.
You know I don’t think he’s saying it as an insult to you, but rather I think he has his own insecurities that if you lose weight, you won’t find him attractive anymore. I had a friend who had the exact same problem! She lost weight and her husband was so insecure and it got to be a problem because he then began constantly "checking up" on her thinking she was cheating.
My suggestion is maybe you should both see a counselor while you are losing weight. Good luck with both your hubby and your weight loss!