Alright, my best friend (Rob) is having the gastric bypass surgery soon so I wanted to take him out for a night. We were going to go to have dinner, then go have a few drinks & shoot some pool. I was talking to another friend (Amanda) about what I wanted to do & she said she wanted to come & offered to drive since neither I or Rob have cars right now (he was originally going to borrow his Mom’s car). So anyway, I kept going back and forth between Rob and Amanda asking what they wanted to do & Amanda said that since it’s Rob’s night out, it was up to him. He said he wanted to go to a lounge that had drinks, but it was 23+ for that night & I’m only 22. I called the owner of the lounge & explained to him the situation. He agreed to let me in because of the occasion. So I go back to Amanda & I explained to her that Rob wanted to go to this place & I already talked to the owner & he agreed to let me get in for that night only. Here is our exact Facebook conversaion:
Me: heyyy.. well.. i talked to the dude that does that dollar drinks night at the palms on sundays…and he said he’d let me in even though i’m not 23…rob said he’d really enjoy going there.. i just gotta text the dude before i go. would you be down to go there??
Amanda: no pooltables??
Me: I guess not. He wants to go there though. And I told him he could pick..since its for him..
Amanda: hmm ok
Me: Are you still down to go?
Amanda: dont take this the wrong way but i wanna go to a place i wud enjoy also..i understand u wanna take him out because he’s getting surgery done but its group thing also…
Me: Nah I understand. It’s cool. I dunno what else to do because I went to a lot of trouble to make it so that I could get onto that place. But it’s fine. I guess I’ll just have to take him out after his surgery. Thanks anyway though.
Amanda: iight no prob
(between these two messages, I changed my status to ‘this is why i don’t make plans. they always fall through. sorry rob.’
Me: Hey I’ve been sitting here thinking and I understand that you wanted to go somewhere different but, you know, this whole thing was for Rob & he’s done a lot for us** & I was just hoping we could do something nice for him. I’m not mad, i’m just disappointed. I really do appreciate you driving. But let me know what place you were thinking about going so I can run it by Rob.
**when I say he’s done a lot for us, he’s 4 years older then all of us. so before we all had cars- he was the taxi. he used to give us rides for free. didn’t even ask for gas money.
Amanda: the last message you sent me stated that you were taking him after the surgery….so has that changed?
Me: Are you mad? You sound mad.
Amanda: nah never that…its jus u sed one thing now an hour later its something totally different
Me: I’m just trying to make it so that everyone has a good time. I really want to hang out with you & so does Rob. He left my house earlier & he was really excited about going out.
Amanda: Hmm ok…n that status u left was suppose 2 effect me n some way..n make me feel bad because I was speakin up? Look don’t take this the wrong way but y don’t u take rob to where he wanted to go (palms) n maybe another time we can get up
Me: That status wasn’t even meant for you, it was meant for Roberto. I felt bad that the plans didn’t work out so I figured I’d try to make it better. You and I both know it’s impossible for me to take Rob anywhere because neither of us have cars. You told me that you were down for whatever, so I figured that you meant it. But apparently this isn’t fixable, so Ima just have to cancel on Rob.
Amanda: Iight yeh we’ll all get up another time…n tell him good luck wit tha surgery
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So.. am I wrong for being a little bit ticked at her? To me it seems like she’s acting like a spoiled brat. What do you guys think? Is she acting like a brat? Or am I blowing it out of proportion?
Well it wasn’t exactly a ‘guys night out’ seeing as though I’m a female. But I’ve been friends with Rob for 7 years and Amanda a little longer. She’s always been a little selfish, but I didn’t realize she was this bad. Thanks for reading!!!
Well it wasn’t exactly a ‘guys night out’ seeing as though I’m a female. But I’ve been friends with Rob for 7 years and Amanda a little longer. She’s always been a little selfish, but I didn’t realize she was this bad. Thanks for reading!!!
You are blowing it out of proportion.
You don’t invite someone to Place A (which they like) because they have a car and then switch to Place B (which they don’t like) and still think they are obligated to drive you.
She originally accepted the invitation because you told her there would be pool. When you changed it to a non-pool evening she completely understood why, but she decided not to go. Big deal.
You should have just said, "No worries, we’ll do it again another time" and then you and Rob could take a cab.
Methinks Amanda likes pool more than her friends.
Methinks you were using her a little bit for a ride.
Wow that was a long question. Friends should be able to compromise so tell her that next time you go out you will do something she wants to do.
Yeah, I really read all that and I can’t believe that I did!
So let me see if I have this right:
So, you and Rob had plans. You were going to take him out to dinner and drinks after-wards. Amanda kinda invited herself along and said she’d go with whatever because it’s Rob’s night out.
Amanda then contradicts herself by saying, "i wanna go to a place i wud enjoy also."
The thing that gets me is that she’s the one who invited herself and then says, "i understand u wanna take him out because he’s getting surgery done but its group thing also."
There’s no "group thing" when it’s for Rob! It’s for HIM, not her!
If a bus or taxi isn’t an option, is it possible to have someone (even his mom) drive you guys there and take a taxi or bus home?
It sounds like Amanda is kinda controlling/selfish. It also sounds like you are overreacting to this girl not going to your (obviously closer friends) night out. ugh?!
Why do you have to cancel on Rob just because Amanda isn’t down with you guys?
She wasn’t in the original plan in the first place (or was she?)?
Obviously she’s not really friends with Rob if she can’t tell him good luck with the surgery herself.
you need to meet your friends in real life and sort out the plan together. texting and messaging just can’t convey your feelings and ideas the same.
just leave Amanda home and take Rob and ask your parents for a ride there and back or take a cab. you dont need amanda to have fun
I may have lost track of what’s going on, but I understood you wanted to take your friend somewhere before surgery, this bit*ch butted in and wanted to come along then started making changes, your friend wanted this $1, then the B decided she didn’t. Is this correct?
Borrow the Mom’s car or better yet get a ride there and a taxi home; enjoy your night out with your friend, and forget about the using, manipulative B.
Wow no its NOT a group thing it is about Rob. She does sound Spoiled! When you take someone out before they have a surgery, or for any occasion that celebrates them as an individual its about the that person. Its NOT about the group! She shouldn’t have volunteered to drive if she was going to be so picky about the places you may go. I would drop her, if she can’t see how wrong she is about this and yes she is wrong then just leave her alone. She is not a good friend.
Put the B iatch in her place.
Im sorry but that what she is being.
The whole purpose of the thing was for Rob not for her selfish arse.
She could not sacrifice for one night so bad luck , she misses out.
I would have told her straight to her face, i would have made it plainly clear that manipulating the effort and changing what Rob wanted to do for the night is totally unnaceptable as part of your friendship.
if she anted to go somewhere, she could have called u at a later date and u , her and whoever else can go to a place of her choosing. but this night was for Rob and she chose it manipulate it and the thought of the night because of her own self.
She needs a good hard look at herself.
Amanda is being rather difficult. Leave her at home. She is not seeing that the reason your even arranging to go out is so Rob can have a good night before his surgery. Find another mode of transport even if she did decide to go the night would probably be spent dealing with her foul mood and her inability to see past herself and be there for a friend.