Help on deciding what to do in my marriage. Should I look to divorce.?

I’ve been married for 10 years. We have two children that we both love. The main issue is that I believe my spouse is just not capable of being mature and responsible. We started out all right, but after a year I started noticing just how immature my spouse was. We both started the first year of our marriage working and going to college, but we both wound up dropping out due to financial issues. My spouse was going to school prior to us getting married so I have always felt that things might be different in my spouses life if we hadn’t got married and they were able to finish school. Work began to slow down a year later and I decided to join the military. My spouse supported the idea and I went to basic training. My spouse was supposedly working when I left, but then they told me they got laid off. I found out later that they had quit prior to my shipping out to basic. I expected to have some kind of savings when I returned from basic, but my spouse did not save any moon. They went out with my brother in law to the movies and just living off of my pay. Then when I got home we had nothing still. We both then found jobs at the same business, but due to issues with the manager at the store that my spouse worked at. It caused us both to lose our jobs. I then found another job and so did my spouse. That lasted for about a year for me before I was laid off, but my spouse was fired from two jobs and was unemployed as well when I got laid off. We lived without power or water in our trailer for about a month, but then I found a job and so did my spouse. My job was temporary and theirs was a permanent job. About a month later I got a permanent job, but then my spouse got fired from the job they had. We had a child during my spouses unemployment stint. They would find a job and then either quit or get fired. Finally we decided that they would stay home with our child while I worked until they could find a steady job. This went on for three years. Then I was called up for a deployment. I deployed and we had issues. I have to admit that I was unfaithful once while I was gone. I’ve never told them about it. I feel bad about it, but at the time I was considering leaving my spouse and met someone I could actually talk to and that cared about what I wanted out of life. I stopped this after a month because I just didn’t feel right for being unfaithful. While I was deployed I paid for my spouse to go back to school, but they failed out during their last semester. I tried to give my spouse another chance. I came home from my deployment and we had another child. I returned to my job and repeatedly ask them to find a job so they could help provide for our family. They found a job here an there, but they were fired two more times. After being with the company I was with after 6 year I was laid off again due to them going out of business. Luckily I was able to go on orders with the military for two years until I was deployed again. I kept asking for them to find a job. While I was deployed again I kept asking for them to find a job or go back to school but they wouldn’t. They even had gastric bypass surgery due to obesity issues while I was deployed. Though they had this surgery they did good while I was away about losing weight, but once I returned they went back to old habits and no longer even try to lose weight. I still try to get them to go out and find a job, but they say they can’t find one without even trying. I look for jobs online for them, but they will never check on them. They just say they won’t hire them because of their work history. I’m away from home again working with the military because it is the only way I can make enough money to pay our bills. All in all I have been away from my kids for the last four years with only staying home short amounts of time between orders. I’m going to school trying to get a degree so I can get a better job, but my spouse will not even try to find a job. I had them check into going back to school, but she they have exhausted all financial aid options. I though about transferring my military education benefits to them, but I wander if I have given enough. My spouse repeatedly asks for me to make sacrifices with the small amount of money I keep each month for extra grocery money or to pay bills. I later find out that my spouse isn’t cooking, but only buying take out food, is spend the extra money on eBay or farmville, or is putting the kids in day care during the weeks so that they can have some time off. The house is always messy when I go home and I know that all they do is feed the kids and pick up what they have too. They take two to thee hour naps every day when my kids take naps and stay up all night on the computer. I’m at a loss. When I cheated on my spouse it was because I just was so tired of always giving, but never getting anything in return. I cannot even be attracted to