Hello. I am not the one who has had the surgery done. It is my aunt. We are all very proud of her for losing her weight. That is NOT the problem. She has this "new" boyfriend, and he is totally worthless for her. She has even said that in the beginning, that she wants someone to take care of her. He can not. He is an alcholic (she supports the habit), and he draws disability (although he does everything, hunts, cuts down trees, etc.) She does not spend any time with her family any more. The guy says he will not talk to anyone that is related to her sister, well that includes her kids. She will not give her youngest child any money to drive his truck, but she makes several trips a day to see him. The youngest child has even seen her give money to the bf to pay for his booze. She is losing her family. We do not know what to do. I have heard from someone else that has had the sugery done, that it can effect your mind…but I can not find anything on that. She does not come to see her four year old niece anymore. She spends all of her time with his family. She is not even herself. She buys him new shoes, clothes and etc. I think she has totally lost it. She is supposed to be on depression meds but she does not take those either. This guy has been married before and his exwife says this is what he does. He pulled the exwife away from her family and brainwashes you. My aunt can do so much better. She looks great, and could get someone who takes care of her. She already has two kids, she does not need a third. She does get child support, but she tells the kids she only gets 100 dollars when she gets 320. So, another lie. This 45 year old bf tried to pick on my kid brother after a high school baseball game, my brother would have won that match, but my Aunt had to step in and get them away from each other. The bf was bad mouthing her son and my brother stood up for him. My aunt stuck up for her bf saying that an 18 year old should not be picking on a 45 year old man….does that seem right to you. The bf almost walked out in front of my mom the other day, and she just about hit him. Then he tells my aunt that we almost ran him off the road, and she calls us asking why we did that? We have people coming up to us, asking us why she is with him and he is nothing but trash. We just tell them she is out of her mind, and she will not listen to us. Everyone will tell you that he is worthless. So, now she is losing her kids to him. She believes everything the BF says and pays no attention to them, calls them and hangs up on them, won’t wave at them, barely even talks to them. When she has something to say, she is usually just yelling. She tells them that she does not have any money…although she can take off of work and go with him to different states, and do whatever but does not have money to give to HER kids. So has any one else had this problem. We were/are very supportive of her getting the surgery done…but the after affects really suck. She is NOT the same person mind set wise. HELP!!!!!!!!
One kid is 15 and lives with her….the other has moved out but is still enrolled in College. Therefore she gets money for both.
As for talking to the bf that would not happen, he is more messed up than she is…he has always been that way. He is a nut job.
I just wish she would wake up and get back to her old self.
She is just undergoing some Psychological tension and stress, just understand her and talk to her boyfriend.
no i have never been through that exactly, but what i don’t understand is if she’s not bothering with her children does that mean they don’t live with her or what…cause if that’s the case how come she’s getting their child support…and guess what one day let’s hope it’s soon when she wakes up and realizes what she’s loosing or has already lost and comes groveling back to her family. and their not there with open arms..it’s gonna it her hard …she’s gonna know she messed up, and now no one wants to be around her because of what she has put her family through, and she’s is gonna see it soon….trust me that man is not gonna be around long when he takes her for everything she has and she don’t have nothing more to give..he’ll move on to someone else….i hate to say that but it’s true….
What can you do? You can’t fix her, she must do it herself. She will have to suffer the consequences sooner or later, just be there when she comes to her senses. Too bad there isn’t a surgery for stupidity. Good Luck.
I really do not think there is anything you can do to help this person. My brother had the same surgery and now he is a total different person and he did things that he never would have done before and his life is totally different and he has opted to cut ties with me because I do not agree with the things he has done. He divorced his wife of 12 years. The list goes on and on. He too is supposed to be on medication and will not take it. The only good thing for him out of this is he is healthier. He is so different that none of the family can get over it. All You can do is pray for them and if they do try to contact you don’t turn your back on them it may be what they need. My brother requested that I don’t contact him but when I see him or anything like that I try to talk to him and let him see that I am not mad at him. My last words to him before his request were that I loved him and even though he did not return the words at least he knows that. One day maybe he will come around and if not it is his choice not mine.